Cocktails and Beverages

Water: Used to quench thirst and prevent dehydration. Can be used in lieu of gin for brewing coffee.
Coffee: To be taken straight or with liquor in the AM and with liquor in the PM. Coffee taken straight in the PM will keep you up all night.
Bloody Mary*: A breakfast or morning cocktail (bracer). May be taken as food, especially for breakfast in airports.
Greyhound: A morning or early afternoon cocktail. Seldom taken with food.
Beer: See water. Should not be used to brew coffee.
Gin: Taken with tonic in lieu of beer. Taken as Martinis** before dinner. Gin should be of excellent quality. Sometimes used by Jerry in the morning instead of water for making coffee. To his credit this is never intentional.
Vodka: If taken straight or in Martinis,** should be of excellent quality, if mixed, should be of enough quality to avoid degrading the mixes. Flavored vodkas are to be avoided.
Wine: A beverage usually taken with or without food. Wine comes in three colors, red wine which can be identifed by the red color, rose which is pink, and white. Only on camping trips is boxed wine acceptable. If white boxed wine is chilled with ice, care should be take to be sure the melted ice does not deterioriate the cardboard leaving only the bladder, because it will then look like something found under a hospital bed.
Brandy: Usually taken after dinner, but sometimes with coffee in the morning. Should be of excellent quality if taken sober, good quality otherwise or if mixed with coffee. Brandy should not be added to coffee brewed with gin.
Slivovitz: A beverage only taken by Jerry. Not to be confused with the Shivwits Plateau.
Godfather: A cocktail only taken by don Tomas after dinner. Often in lieu of brandy. Also known as God-awful as made famous by the song "In a God-awful Vida," best known for an endless drum solo. The band has lost a number of drummers to terminal ennui, who were replaced without notice during the solo. It continues to this day.
Scotch: Should be of excellent quality, preferably single malt.
Other Whisky: Should be of reasonable quality. Can be taken straight or with water or soda any time of day.
Tequila: If high quality it should be taken straight. If medium quality may be taken in cocktails. Otherwise it should be avoided. Collected by don Miguel.
Sherry: Served by Anarchists in Madrid.
Pisco: Thanks to Don Tomas we now have the pisco sour in our repertoire of drinks. Pisco can also be taken in lieu of brandy.
Rum: A excellent beverage generally neglected by us. Don Tomas has been known to take it with Diet Coke, a questionable combination.

*Puebla Bloody Mary: Discovered in Puebla Mexico By don Tomas, don Miguel, and P.O. Roy. Not spicy. Just vodka, tomato juice and lots of lime juice.

**Martinis: A Martini is made with gin and vermouth with olives added for garnish. The same cocktail made with vodka is a "vodka martini". A dirty Martini has a little olive juice. A Gibson uses onions. A dirty Gibson is just too weird. Any cocktail made with flavored vodka, juice, chocolate, peanut butter, fruit, liqueur, shoe polish, or any other crap is NOT a Martini and should ALWAYS be avoided by anyone over the age of 22.