The Old Friends And Relations of Tom's, designated by the Greek letters Tau, Omicron, Phi, is a non-denominational, fraternal honor society. Meetings are held at irregular intervals in various places. Quite often in the middle of nowhere. Membership is limited to those who attend some of the meetings. Our usual activities consist of traveling, camping, swearing, telling lies, smoking cigars, eating and drinking. Because we take this last activity especially seriously, abstinence is permited but moderation is frowned upon. .